You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dignity is for republicans.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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