He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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