If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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