those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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