She is in my trunk
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
