The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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