I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Randomize
