Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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