Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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