3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
