i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I think I died a long time ago.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
