I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk is not a location!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
