i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize