guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
