That's intense
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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