He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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