You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
