Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
