i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
