Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
