i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
