I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
