That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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