Jerry, you need to find god
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
