even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
