i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
