I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
