her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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