bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
