my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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