please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
