her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I could fuck to npr.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize