Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
