he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
