It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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