Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is the high leading the old right now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
