i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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