I've blown a few things in my day
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize