went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am naked and annoyed.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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