Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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