i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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