I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
