Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
