remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
