She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My breasts were aching with rage.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
