He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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