I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She bit a glass in half.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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