please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
