Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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