two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
