OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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