Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
