I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
