I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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