Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
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Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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