What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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