Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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