Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
