I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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