I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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