Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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