My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize